the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
