try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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