he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
