ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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