walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
