It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
