I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
