It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
