There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
