do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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