Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
