Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
