Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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