i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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