Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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