drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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