Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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