Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
