You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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