Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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