I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
