It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
