If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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