My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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