I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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