I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
