You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
