Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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