I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
