whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
