you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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