so let's talk penis.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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