is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
