so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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