seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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