They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
