we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
