Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just googled if crying burns calories
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
