My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
