Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
