the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
