She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
