Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
