Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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