Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Someone signed my nipple.
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