omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
