i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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