I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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