I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
