I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
