I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
