The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
