I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
